You genius! Your side are flying! After weeks of frustration, this is the week it all comes together. Stoke attack with pace and purpose, whilst dealing with every attack that comes their way. Stoke go into half-time 3-0 up and fans are starting to forgive you for the Oatcake incident earlier in the day. “I had my doubts about him to be sure, but maybe this continental ‘Corn Flake’ eater is the way our club needs to go if we’re to progress”, you hear as you walk back through the tunnel. It’s always nice to hear Charlie talk about you like that. The fans have even created a giant tifo, with your face represented in thousands of corn flakes, with the words “He’s Grrrrrrrreat” underneath. This is so touching you don’t even call them ‘fucking idiots’ for getting the cereal slogan underneath. Early in the second half, Stoke get a penalty. Who takes it?

Benik Afobe… the centre-forward has already scored today and can add to his tally
Peter Etebo… he hasn’t missed a penalty for Stoke and will strike with venom
Jack Butland… Anything to break the penalty curse?