You run. You try to run. But you are chased down Stanley Matthews way by a few of the Naughty 40 lot, with the help of superhero vigilante Oatcake Man. Captured in Oatcake Man’s web of cheese, you are unable to move. You are fed to Pottermus in a ‘Wicker Man’ style ceremony on the pitch. You are dead.

Stoke City do not gain promotion.

Thank you for playing.

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