As you chomp on your cheese and bacon Oatcake. You are snapped by a passing fan, who sells the photo to ‘Bear Loud Drivel TV’ for thousands. Within an hour, the sight of you enjoying the Pottery delicacy has gone viral on the Stoke-based internet. “Absolute class” says one fan, “Finally a gaffer who understands our way of life” says another. An Oatcake thread is devoted to discussing whether you are already better than Waddington. With a few bites of your breakfast, you’ve already got the fans onside. But it’s time to go to the game, and it’s coming up on 2pm and you haven’t picked your team yet. Do you…

Pick a balanced side, with pace on the wings, creativity going forward and strength at the back?

Just pick 11 players and hope everything will work out.