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You are Stoke City manager. Despite lofty pre-season expectations of being somewhat competent Stoke City have slumped to the murky depths of lower mid-table and got rid of the previous manager in the middle of the season. You are given the task of giving the crowd something to shout about before the end of the season. Despite some signs of progress, your few games so far have generated little towards. But there’s two games in a week coming up, and now’s your opportunity to show the fans what you’re made of. You wake up in your Cheshire hotel room, half a bottle of whiskey on the side from the night before. It’s matchday, and you’ve got just enough time for a quick breakfast before heading to the stadium. Do you…

Ask for a Staffordshire Oatcake

Or Just have cereal?